The “We’re Breaking Up” Reunion Tour

The only other time I have ever seen people bring up dead things like blogs and bands is when they’re about to kill it for good. Don’t worry, my devoted fans, I could never shut up long enough for that to happen. It’s been since June that I’ve written for the public. That’ll be the last blog post before this: “I Only Speak In Metaphors Now, Reality Is Too Stressful”. 

It would be right for you to ask why I put a dead horse on stilts and am punching it in the face. There is an actual reason for it, I promise. No, I’m not travelling again. No, I’m not recreating Julie Powell’s genius, no matter how much I want to. Truthfully, I’ve written a book. I think I’ve told you that before, but that was a different book. Maybe that book will see the light of day once in my life or after (Emily Dickinson was dead before any of her poetry was published), but for now I’m talking about another book. A novel.

“How did you do it?” I know you’re dying to ask. “When did you find time to write a novel?” I wish I could say that it took all my nerves and energy, but it didn’t. It’s a sort of melange of all the stories I’ve ever tried to write and never could finish, rolled up so tightly in symbolism it might as well be a sausage. There is nothing in that book that I thought of uniquely for it; it is a puzzle of all the pieces of me that have ever lived. Do you ever wonder if you’re unique, or just a unique mixture of all the things that makes everybody human?

My book actually talks about that.

I never got to my point back there. My point is that I’m reviving my blog so that, when I do publish my book very soon indeed, it won’t be a shock to the system that I have individual thoughts or ambition. I’ve mentioned here before that I’m not the best at showing myself, but I’m trying my best to improve. Have I ever told you that if I ever do make a band we’ll call ourselves “Trying Our Best”, so at every concert I can say “Hello (city), we are Trying Our Best”? That band name applies here, too. Hello, internet. I am Trying My Best. I think I want to write; I guess I’m publishing a book. You’ll have to bear with me while I think of more interesting things to say.

It’s not like my music career is taking off.

I feel like I should also announce that I am doing better, in general. My last few posts on this were depressing, so sorry about that. Last year was a walking nightmare, though I’m sure you have some stories of your own to tell. I’m sure you too are Trying Your Best. One of the best things I can think to do in a place like this is talk, and try to make a place where people feel heard. If I am only made up of common human things, maybe we share the same common human things, and when you read this our equal human-ness will meet and enjoy each other’s company. Maybe you’re reading this because you’re in public right now, and want to seem busy on your phone so you don’t feel awkward being alone. If that’s the case, look up. Nobody cares.

Am I rambling? I’m rambling. Sorry, I’m trying to reach my word count. I can’t say that I’ll add much else on here, or anything at all; all I can promise is that this will always be here so you can look at it when you’re trying to avoid eye contact with someone and look busy on your phone.

This isn’t the death of a blog, but it’s also not all I have anymore. Hopefully very soon indeed, you will be able to hold my words in your hands and count chapters. Until then, stay awhile. I’m not going anywhere.